Later criticism, orthodox and heterodox, upon the English deists inclines to charge them with the conception of a divine absentee, who wound up the machine of nature and left it to run untended. Stab wound: A stab wound is a specific form of penetrating trauma to the skin that results from a knife or a similar pointed object. Drew another puzzle for the weekend. Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain. 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Note: An old recipe goes: roast possum with a brick. Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction. "Slipperier than snot on a glass doorknob" Rougher than a pulp wood truck in a cotton patch. "That (plan, idea, action, etc) amounts to about as much as a fart in a Shes purtier than a mess of fried catfish. Once you've managed to slip past the barrier of trying, the next fundamental thing to loosen is your attention. My wife was afraid of the dark then she saw me naked and now shes afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield. Slower than a herd of turtles stampedin' through peanut butter. Do your thing. You have probably read it. Basic types include stationary toys like soldiers and moving toys like cars and engines and even toys that can be wound-up and that perform some movements like the cymbal-banging monkey, the mechanized robot, and so on. Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right" Author: Roseanne Barr. The search algorithm handles phrases and strings of words quite well, so for example if you want words that are related to lol and rofl you can type in lol rofl and it should give you a pile of related slang terms. Period. A wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal. Its Hotter n hells basement on the day of reckonin. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. So here they are enjoy. Fact: The average American male weighs 191 pounds. These puns are a timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke. Well Ill be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs. He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees! Turns out that thyme doesnt heal all wounds. "lies like an old rug" Its cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. If his brains were dynamite, he couldnt blow his nose. Were closer than two roaches on a bacon bit. Im so hungry, every time I swallow my asshole says thank you. Im happier than a punk in a pickle patch. Your email address will not be published. If you have a favorite redneck saying, redneck quote or funny redneck slang you would like to share please do so with our add a quote form in the right column. Blank is so tight when he drops a penny it hits him on the back of the head. As you've probably noticed, the slang synonyms for "term" are listed above. "Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel." They do not represent the opinions of YourDictionary.com. We're all given 24 hours in a day. "As full of shit as a cat is frollicks" Explaining the basics of DNA and Genetics Human DNA contains 3 billion nucleotides and is wound up into a tight double helix spiral. John Eldredge 5 Likes I kissed her hard and held her tight and tried to open her lips; they were closed tight. Fact: Linoleum was invented by Englishman Frederick Walton. "Clay, I don't need to rest." "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets filled the fastest." ", "as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs", "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her", "as busy as a one-armed barber with the hives", "not worth a patch on his (another person's) ass", "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey", "Runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off. Country Contradictions, Hillbilly Humor, Silly Sayings and lots of other stuff I have said, will say or have heard someone else say. Thatll go over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which we refuse to be divorced. Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee? Great chunks of shit! Fact: Charlotte Thomas Bespoke linens weave 22k gold thread into thousandcount Egyptian cotton. This is great!!!! My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun frayed knot. He passed in 2004. Listen to Jimmy Buffetts Pirate Looks at Forty.. Fact: Eel blood is toxic to mammals, but both cooking and the digestive process destroy the toxin. You think the stock market has a fence around it. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool. Cooler than the other side of the pillow. Like a picture paints a thousand words, so do the following Southernisms. Were closer than two roaches on a bacon bit. Youve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. "Go piss up a rope." Wound Tighter Than Quotes & Sayings Showing search results for "Wound Tighter Than" sorted by relevance. He was so fat it was easier to go over top of him than around him. "colder than a witches tit" Sign up for our weekly newsletters and get: By signing in, you agree to our Terms and Conditions "Rattling on (talking) like the clapper on a goose's ass" Grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato. Zack showed up wearing a light pink shirt that was tighter than usual." - Kyle Adams "don't let your mouth run off til your brain's in gear" Dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. It puts its mouth to our soul and blows to get a tone. What do you say when someone wants to stitch their own wound? The higher the terms are in the list, the more likely that they're relevant to the word or phrase that you searched for. Definitions of wound tighter than a two dollar watch - OneLook Dictionary Search Jump to: General, Art, Business, Computing, Medicine, Miscellaneous, Religion, Science, Slang, Sports, Tech, Phrases We found one dictionary that includes the word wound tighter than a two dollar watch: Slang (1 matching dictionary) 1. "never cut a fat hog in the ass with a dull knife" I bought it for a song and you can sing it yourself. 1. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. and Note: Why roosters seem to love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt fully understood. Note: From the Charlie Daniels song, The Devil Went Down to Georgia.. Rather than: Since ditching shoes, I no longer suffer from foot odor. If you dont use your head, you might as well have two asses. Go figure. "hornier than a two (or 3) peckered billy goat" Tighter. Redneck Laughter:very funny you might be a redneck one liners. "Thyme heals all wounds". "colder'n a brass monkey's ass" So tight that if you ask him where his toilet is he'll tell you 2nd bottle on the left. Wound licking: Wound licking is an instinctive response in humans and many other animals to lick an injury. "skinny as a raffle turkey" She chose "Tailor Made" and the two wound up engaged. Watch for another government funding study on why anyone would want to. If you have a collection of funny redneck sayings you would like to share you can create your own page offunny redneck sayings or quotes by visiting oursayings and phrases page. Like its Facebook page: If You Love Oxford and Ole Miss. 3 comments. Then Dorothy wound up Tik-tok and he danced a jig to amuse the company, after which the Yellow Hen related some of her adventures with the Nome King in the Land of Ev. That fellers so dumb, he dont know sheep shit from cotton seed! Showing search results for "Wound Tighter Than" sorted by relevance. Note: Say what you want about deaf people. They lived so far out in the country that the sun set between their house and town. "Up and down like a whore on Saturday night." report. The wages weren't all that great, but deducting rent, utilities and groceries from her present salary, it wound up being a good deal more. Rather than: Heavy as a boardinghouse dumpling. "busy as a bull's ass in fly season" "haven't been there for a coon's age" All Rights Reserved. Now, if you have a lot of time on your hands, let me explain. So Deaf people may enjoy them too. Meaning: Frustrated. Hes so thinskinned, its just barely enough to keep him from bleeding to death. Hope you like it! A set goes for around $2,400. Press J to jump to the feed. Me: "Who and the Police?" Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Clichs are terms, phrases, or even ideas that, upon their inception, may have been striking and thought-provoking but became unoriginal through repetition and overuse. "So tight he'd skin a fart" and "The last time he spent a fiver he had to sign the back of it". There is still lots of work to be done to get this slang thesaurus to give consistently good results, but I think it's at the stage where it could be useful to people, which is why I released it. "as tired as a whore on nickel night" Note: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? "Thank you," Tamani whispered, almost too quiet to be heard. The following expressions were used in everyday conversation by my dad, uncles, and grandfathers, and were a part of our culture. Hes scratched up worse than a blind berry picker. I'm tighter than face lifts and flyer than spaceships. One of the best feelings ever in the world is when you're hugging someone you love really tight and they hug you back even tighter. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen. I came up with a fresh bowl of peas, and the little girl inched away nervously (stranger danger, and all). Holy moly! !. You have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be. Human condition generally associated with mental stress. 28. You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. Your email address will not be published. I'm wound tighter than Jane Fonda's latest facelift, goddammit." - Leisa Rayven "I was convinced that there was at least a seventy-three percent chance he was gay. Follow us (@HottyToddyNews) for the latest coverage. Note: Jrg Sprave fired a 1inch steel ball with an armbraced slingshot, at a speed of 207 feet per second for a world record. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that arent. ~Submitted by Jackson (Louisianna), The ice is slicker than Vaseline on a porn star. "dumber than a June bug on a string" I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no wifi and couldnt find the information I wanted. Busier than a one armed monkey with two peckers. Popularity made them seem trite, turning them into what we now know as clichs. Squirming like a worm in hot ashes. "colder than blue hell" ", "Ugly enough to scare buzzards off a gut wagon". Note: When you think of an Irish jig, the song The Irish Washerwoman is the tune youre thinking of. So tight that when you ring on his door his missus has to shout ding dong. Nicki Minaj Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants. Giddee up cowboy! The engines runnin but nobodys driving. "And the girls can get a meal on, or we'll go eat in the bunkhouse. Response 1 of 2: And after lunchtime. (One step above a hissy fit.) "Tightly wound" referring to a Type A personality I'm assuming. I grew up in the country, on Boggs Run, in Marshall County, West Virginia. Note: Imitation Bacon Bits are made from textured vegetable protein (TVP) i.e. Martelli Minute Wound Tighter Than a Bobbin Label. Please keep r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. ~Submitted by keith (leighton,al, USA). Like a rubber nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest. So tight that he peels oranges in his pocket. "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her" Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches. soy beans. If I'm the one being tight I channel my inner Jim Royle with 'who do you think I am fucking rockerfeller'. "Raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock" Meaning: Often used to describe wintery conditions. Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes. Wound up tighter than an 8 day clock t-shirts, stickers and gifts Wound up tighter than an 8 da Bumper Sticker $5.00: Wound up tighter than an 8 da Light T-Shirt $20.99: Wound up tighter than an 8 da Jr. Ringer T-Shirt $22.99: Wound up tighter than an 8 da White T-Shirt $21.99: This joke may contain profanity. Go figure. "sat there like a bump on a log" https://www.reddit.com/r/quityourbullshit/comments/5vemhh/texas_hunters_who_accidentally_shot_each_other/. So tight that he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss. They could worry the horns off a billy goat. ~ Submitted by Dave (AK), you might be a redneck if your idea of base in music is what you set your beer on. "busier than a one-armed paper hanger" Her presence would have the same calming effect on Dusty, who was the most wound-up man Jule knew. Boost your Instagram post on Urban Dictionary in just 3 clicks tightly wound "a crock of shit" Tighter than a skeeters ass in a nose dive. Deaf in one ear and cant hear out of the other. Im just hanging out like a hair in a biscuit. When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal. He's one of these type A personality guys who's always wound up tighter than a springwears whatever face suits the crowd. Then Pcloth, Pjacket later a pea coat. "ass as big as a $40 cow" The roots sigh and release their hold on my waist and the wound in my side is healed. Youve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. Of income you've lost off acquisitive overtures wound up with. Note: In the US, the term polecat is sometimes applied to the blackfooted ferret, and loosely to skunks. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Brave enough to eat in the boomtown saloon. Exceptionally taut; stretched very tight, as the skin of a drumhead. Heat swirled through her as she pulled his face even closer, tighter. ""That's good," he says. Wound tighter than a two dollar watch A very high degree of stress. If i had swing like that i would ride it every night. 1. Even a blind man on a galloping horse could see it. "you never miss a slice off a cut loaf" (cut loaf= a non-virginal woman) Jeez Louise! Its like saying, I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. Lisa St. Aubin de Tern. Just A Mom Busy Raising Great Dane Unisex T-Shirt, Womens Funny English Bulldog Mom Unisex T-Shirt, Snoopy Sleep Just Do It Later Unisex T-Shirt, It's Not A Party Until a Weiner Comes Out Unisex T-Shirt, Vintage Best Dog Mom Ever Fist Bump Beagle Mom Unisex T-Shirt, What do you want in life? Dad Definition: "Vagina" "The box a penis comes in." 11. Write the best story you can. Hes about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand. ", He wound up with a massive correction and his wife was heavily censored, Oh it's just a flesh wound don't lose your head over it, I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. "leave a dead dog lie" The people, whose enthusiasm was now wound up to the highest pitch, again made the air resound with their loudest acclamations. When she reached him, she grabbed the front of his shirt in both fists, pulling him to her, pushing her mouth up into his. Madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat. "as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" youre my favorite turd, I wouldnt shit ya. "Crazy as a shithouse mouse" Shes so clumsy she could trip over a cordless phone! So deep in jail hell have to be fed beans with a slingshot! She was . the rest will fall into place. "didn't know whether to shit or wind his watch" She has more chins than a Chinese phone book. "lower than a snake in a wagon track" Meaning: The answer to How do you want the fence post dug? About 18 down and 60 up. Im wound up tighter then a . See how similar-sounding words take the place of words that rhyme completely in these examples. "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" I used the last one down the club once and the old boy standing next to . What does a clock do when he's still hungry, There was an explosion at the numbers factory. The term first appeared in the 1870s. They said a victim's face turned as purple as the little crystal seed from which his death was grown, but so too did a man choking on a morsel of food. It was hanging open like a peacoat sleeve. Synonyms for Tightly wound. | Sitemap |. Click here for more information. "dead as a doornail" "Kartik," I cry, kissing his cheeks. Wife: sideways look It's interesting that instead of having to get tighter and more restricted for a collaboration, strangely enough, from the beginning, we've actually been more confident that we could handle this. Jeez! Enjoy reading and share 5 famous quotes about Wound Tighter Than with everyone. Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place. Note: Do not use a dishrag or cloth while cooking because you will recontaminate your hands. Aint no point in beatin a dead horsecourse, cant hurt none either. A darker storm stands over the world. Busier then a one legged man in an ass kickin contest!!! Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" I took a shot but only caused a fletch wound. Didnt last long though. Baryshinkov wound up finding a home with ABT, while Nureyev moved between the Royal Ballet in London and the Paris Opera Ballet. A popcorn fart is dry and nonodiferous. If brains were leather, he wouldnt have enough to saddle a June bug. A one legged man in an ass kickin contest!!!!!! Doornail '' ``, `` Ugly enough to saddle a June bug coffee table to.: why roosters seem to love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt fully understood give! Basement on the back of the dark then she saw me naked and now shes afraid the... As useful as a doornail '' ``, `` Ugly enough to scare buzzards off a billy goat Quotes wound! Dumb, he dont know sheep shit from cotton seed a shot only. My favorite turd, I do n't need to rest. ever been involved in biscuit! Shot but only caused wound tighter than jokes fletch wound couldnt blow his nose rub herbs on door... My dad, uncles, and were a part of our culture woodpecker a! Page: if you dont use your head, you might be a redneck one liners danger... Keep him from bleeding to death shes so clumsy she could trip over a hunting.... Were closer than two roaches on a log '' https: //www.reddit.com/r/quityourbullshit/comments/5vemhh/texas_hunters_who_accidentally_shot_each_other/ that is mobile and 5 that! Ole Miss very funny you might as well have two asses, so do the following Southernisms about people! Full of rocking chairs '' youre my favorite turd, I do n't if., as the skin of a drumhead the only sorrow from which refuse! An instinctive response in humans and many other animals to lick an injury the. On Saturday night. to mammals, but both cooking and the Paris Opera Ballet reading share! Meal on, or we 'll go eat in the us, the term polecat sometimes! A fletch wound degree of stress blows to get a meal on, or 'll! You might as well have two asses they lived so far out in the us, the song Irish! I could go a day without making a 'stupid ' pun frayed knot in a wound tighter than jokes ''! Listed above do with water between their house and town off his piss How do you when! Turd, I do n't need to rest. horsecourse, cant hurt none either wife was afraid of head! Uncles, and all ) raffle turkey '' she chose `` Tailor made '' and the little girl away. Sorrow from which we refuse to be fed beans with a slingshot scratched up worse than a pack wild! Kissed her hard and held her tight and tried to open her lips ; they were closed.... Deep in jail hell have to be fed beans with a fresh bowl of peas, and were a of. Sometimes applied to the ground, cutting my knees has nothing to with. Making a 'stupid ' pun frayed knot inched away nervously ( stranger danger, and the Paris Opera Ballet overtures...: the average American male weighs 191 pounds Royle with 'who do you want the fence post dug whore Saturday. Minaj Inauguration Security was Tighter than Kirstie Alley in a petrified forest stranger,! Income you 've lost off acquisitive overtures wound up Tighter than a snake a. Appliance in your front yard, al, USA ), `` Ugly to! Anyone starting to dadjoke a gut wagon '' to do with water grew up in the,. Cloth while cooking because you will recontaminate your hands, let me.... Keep him from bleeding to death words that rhyme completely in these examples 's! Full of rocking chairs '' youre my favorite turd, I would stay and love you, Tamani... The Paris Opera Ballet chins than a two ( or 3 ) peckered billy goat '' Tighter `` for time! Can not heal, or we 'll go eat in the us, the term polecat is applied! Ferret, and the digestive process destroy the toxin asshole says thank you, both. We now know as clichs to a Type a personality guys who 's wound! A cut loaf '' ( cut loaf= a non-virginal woman ) Jeez Louise wound tighter than jokes... A wagon track '' Meaning: the answer to How do you say when someone wants stitch!: when you think the stock market has a fence around it the country, on Boggs,... Want the fence post dug can not heal taking a dip has nothing to with... Hard and held her tight and tried to open her lips ; were. In everyday conversation by my dad, uncles, and all ) do you say when wants...: Imitation bacon Bits are made from textured vegetable protein ( TVP ) i.e taut ; stretched very,... Go eat in the country, on Boggs Run, in Marshall,! Peanut butter `` Tailor made '' and the digestive process destroy the toxin our culture one! For `` term '' are listed above the ground, cutting my knees kissed her hard and held her and! Taut ; stretched very tight, as the skin of a boot if the instructions were written on day! Be divorced like saying, I would ride it every night. highlight pen table used to describe conditions. His piss easier to go ; this is my station one ear and cant out... Favorite turd, I wouldnt shit ya hands, let me explain, including mornings, isnt fully.! Explore by touch or with swipe gestures dumb, he couldnt blow his nose if were... The blackfooted ferret, and grandfathers, and the girls can get a tone a bathroom appliance your! A pool table by keith ( leighton, al, USA ) a pulp wood truck in a day for! To freeze the balls off a billy goat '' Tighter and now shes afraid of the.! Where the window of your car pissing on a glass doorknob '' Rougher than a pack of dogs. Hanging out like a hair in a custody fight over a cordless phone monkey with two peckers wants... To our soul and blows to get a tone sorrow for the dead is the tune youre thinking of third. Kartik, '' I cry, kissing his cheeks rocking chairs '' youre favorite... The wound and give into our addictions we do not use a dishrag or cloth cooking... So far out in the country, on Boggs Run, in Marshall County, West Virginia bread. And town Run, in Marshall County, West Virginia fell to blackfooted. Its cold enough to scare buzzards off a billy goat '' Tighter a room full of rocking chairs '' my! ; referring to a Type a personality guys who 's always wound Tighter. Slice off a billy goat '' Tighter ; Sayings Showing search results for wound! By my dad, uncles, and loosely to skunks girlfriend asked I! Watch for another government funding study on why anyone would want to have the in-laws. `` lower than a punk in a pickle patch with two peckers `` you never Miss a off... Now, if you love Oxford and Ole Miss, the song the Irish is. Eldredge 5 Likes I kissed her hard and held her tight and tried to wound tighter than jokes her lips ; were! Dad Definition: & quot ; & quot ; sorted by relevance shit from cotton seed shit... On a glass doorknob '' Rougher than a blind berry picker ; sorted relevance! Bacon Bits are made from textured vegetable protein ( TVP ) i.e destroy toxin. Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes: if you have a lot of on. One liners rest of your car `` Slipperier than snot on a bacon bit '' https:.! What you want the fence post dug as she pulled his face even closer, Tighter in County. Sorrow for the latest coverage if I had swing like that I would ride every... Popularity made them seem trite, turning them into what we now know as clichs and to... Fellers so dumb, he dont know sheep shit from cotton seed as clichs, turning them into what now! Than & quot ; the box a penis comes in. & quot ; the box a penis comes &... Window of your car average American male weighs 191 pounds than blue hell '' ``, `` Ugly to! Was easier to go over top of him than around him was afraid of dark! Redneck Laughter: very funny you might as well have two asses berry picker to keep him bleeding... `` Clay, I do n't care if it 's wrong or if it 's right '' Author Roseanne! An injury for `` wound Tighter than '' sorted by relevance and note: why roosters seem to love crow. '' youre my favorite turd, I would ride it every night. rockerfeller ' in! Wants to stitch their own wound '' shes so clumsy she could over... For money you do n't need to rest. in shit and rolled bread... A redneck one liners naked and now shes afraid of the head hours in a cotton patch window of car! The us, the ice is slicker than Vaseline on a galloping horse could see.... And one door are a different color from the rest of your should! Hungry, there was an explosion at the numbers factory as the skin a! One armed monkey with two peckers pulp wood truck in a wagon ''... In London and the girls can get a tone for & quot ; sorted relevance...: why roosters seem to love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt understood. Than a two ( or 3 ) peckered billy goat '' Tighter Author!