living with sister in law islamliving with sister in law islam

He created us to worship Him alone; therefore, it is an act of worship to know how to deal with people in your life. should neither present your daughters, nor your sisters, to How to divide the left side of two equations by the left side is equal to dividing the right side by the right side? Maybe write a list where you write down all the good characteristics you find attractive in your wife. The responsibility of the husband will be fulfilled if the wife is provided with a separate area within the house, and where she is able to keep her belongings and where none of her husband's family members are able to enter. Views : Even if you dont feel like eating, you should make eating habits for yourself. Your post made me cry Aishaim same situation like u.iwonder why mother in laws are such? With regard to your living separately, your husband has to ensure that you have a place where you can live separately, but there is nothing wrong with his parents living in the same place with you if the house is big enough, and if that will not cause you any harm. Naseeha Sessions 290K subscribers Subscribe 48K views 6 years ago Get Your FREE Tickets For 'Where's My BAE' Here:. I sit watching the clock too see when it will hit 10pm so I can go bed. Eat and exercise. Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. Its not over til the Trumpet is Blown Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 3, He has changed to align with Islam but my father doesnt trust him, His mother wont approve of me because Im not Pakistani, I want to reconcile with my wife, who claims her parents blackmailed her. But things will change inshAllah after some times. References: See for example (in Arabic) or here, Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. You want to manage your own place. Finding valid license for project utilizing AGPL 3.0 libraries. [Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 9/330] Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives' mothers, and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives unto whom you have gone in. Phim d kin khi chiu mng mt Tt Nguyn n 2023! Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid, You can ask your question on the website via this link: https://islamqa.info/en/ask, Password should contain small, capital letter and at least 8 characters long, Log in They are just like other non-Mahram women as far as the matter of looking at them and mixing with them is concerned, because they are forbidden in marriage only for a temporary reason and they become marriageable as soon as the reason is removed. Try make him realise that if moving out means cutting ties with parents, then, have u abandonned your own parents when you got married?? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. To what extent should I obey them with regard to my clothing, cooking, childcare, keeping house and going out of the house? With regard to your serving them and doing housework, you are not obliged to do that, but if you do it as an act of kindness towards them, or to please your husband, that will be good and you will have the reward for that in sha Allaah. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. His sisters are married and moved away. It does not store any personal data. Mahrams of a woman through marital relationship, Woman Staying Alone in Same House with Brother-in-Law Who Is 15 Years Old, Woman shaking hands with men with disabilities, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Jinaayaat (Criminology) and Islamic Judicial System, Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. . Please read these: Manage Conflict: The Six Skills Our advice to husbands is that they should honour their parents with regard to that which is right and proper, but they should not obey them if they transgress the limits set by Allaah, or help them in wrongdoing, which includes mistreating their sons wives. But very often, especially in matters relating to marriages, we dont get wat we expectand thats a reality that we have to handle. It will take a lot of courage and effort, but you can do it if you really want to keep your family and yourself happy. She stirs things up so I look like the bad guy and my hiusband tells me off saying I dont have respect for his mum and I have no idea of how stay in the family. May Allah (swt) ease your problems and give you the strength to live a healthy and halal life. Mother-in-law asked Rabia (daughter in law) to make a cup of tea for her. I am living with my inlaws. Please dont judge my lesbian relationship. I shared my body measurements with a guy online. Effective communication in a marriage is a learned skill. "Even if she were not my stepdaughter, she should be unlawful for me She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law. My hunch is that there's some personal history here that's coloring how you see your sister-in-lawwhether it's your own inner shame, a person from your past who prompted similar feelings . I said, "Yes." She does not show any respect for me and takes every chance to make that clear; for instance, she leaves empty bottles in the middle for me to throw them, or when I have just finished to clean the kitchen, she leaves a glass or a dish in the sink small things maybe, but always one after another. May Allah give you the willpower to stay away from ZIna. Like you correctly described her behaviour is not his fault. Strive to read Ayatul Kursi after every obligatory prayer for protection, and for the protection of your marriage. Explain to your husband that you not asking him to choose between you and his family. Islam Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for Muslims, experts in Islam, and those interested in learning more about Islam. In all truth I am extremely insecure because he is the only son with three sisters and everything that they suggest he feels that I must be happy and go along with. Go step by step. The feelings and relationship you are having with your sister-in-law are wrong. She does not cover herself in front of him. i think that is disgusting She thinks its normal and my husband thinks its being part of the family. Fathers/grandfathers and sons/grandsons are mahrams for his wife and it is permissible for them to be alone with her. Here are a few things you can do to forget about your sister-in-law and live a healthier and happier life: - Cut off contact with her and never try to reach on to her even if it seems hard to do. Cut off contact with her and never try to reach on to her even if it seems hard to do. I am girl and my about to be fiance loves his family. (c)Al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a husband wants to make her live with a co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother or sister or daughter from another marriage or anotherrelative, and she refuses to accept that, then he has to provide her with accommodation of her own But if he lodges her in a room of the house that has a door of its own, this is sufficient for her and she should not ask him for alternative accommodation, because the harm caused by fear for her belongings and not being able to relax is no longer there. If you and your sister-in-law do not come under any prohibited relationship you can marry her after getting divorce from her husband. If you cant, then it is better to separate. Tell him too that having your own time or place, means just that you two are a family, not that you are not going to share time with his family or yours. What i didnt realise is she was very conniving and vindictive. There are two main laws that protect the rights of inheritance in the country: Muslim Family Law Ordinance, 1961. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. You are going through a lot of pain, but you can overcome your problems with right decisions and I am sure that the suicidal thoughts will pass, in sha Allah. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". I feel terrible. We use cookies on IslamQA to measure visitor stats. What is meant by in-law (hamu) here is the relatives of the husband apart from his father/grandfather and sons/grandsons. Disclaimer:The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. She used to wear dupatta which i thought in the beginning as behaving as a stranger and not as a family member and now after months of living together, she doesn't wear dupatta in the houseanymore as she got comfortable in the house and got to know us closely and some times she even loses dupatta when she is cooking in the kitchen when nobody is around I guess to feel more comfortable but when I go to kitchen she immediately takes wears the dupatta not on the head but on the front. Pakistan follows the Sharia rule for the division of property. All Praise to Allah Swt and blessings on Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him His family and companions. Is celebrating the birthday of a small child, along with the consumption of cake, allowed? Ask him to take you out alone maybe for supper and discuss these issues with him. This means under Muslim law, the legal right to inheritance of property arises only upon the death of the deceased and not upon the birth of the child. He does not have the right to make her eat with any of her in-laws. He is very hurt on this matter, He says he cannot live without his parents, and its hard for me to live with his parents and his younger brother, am i asking too much. Last year we got things sorted since it got out of hand. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): and live with them honourably [al-Nisaa 4:19]. What does islam role says on this. However, you may take your sisters in-law with you in your car if your wife is present or any other woman for whom you are a Mahram or that one of their male Mahaarim (plural of Mahram) is also present in the car. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. If the husband thinks that the interests of shareeah dictate that he should keep his wife and his family apart, then there is nothing wrong with him doing that. My husband finally realised and told her to stop interfering. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. It is so hard that I withdraw and go quiet untill eventually a couple days later I will breakdown and I will start telling him how I feel. This is when you see those young children dying in war and famine killing kids in Africa that I pray to god take me since im ready to go and spare of those childrens life for mine. You also need to move out of your in-laws home if you expect your marriage to succeed and thrive. But one thing must be added about "woman who are haram to marry simultaneously to your wife": they are non-mahram that means a man isn't allowed to look at such a woman (like the sister of the wife) unveiled! From the beginning, she never helped me with the tasks, she comes and goes as she wishes, but she comes at lunch time with everything ready. The same thing applies to what you said, that she does not care about your children and cares more about other nephews. MIL manipulates the FIL, gives him hard time to do soething about it all the time plus when you have sister in law (SIL) at home, MIL and SIL fill each other in all the time only on the bad things and not the good things, plus add spices to it. However, due to cultural norms among people, and other limitations its hard to implement them. A couple of months ago, I had to cut off communication with my 30-year-old brother. The wife does not have to obey anyone among her in-laws, whether that is her husband's father, mother, brothers or sisters, in any matter, major or minor, unless they tell her to do something which is obligatory according to Islam, or forbid her to do something that is haraam. Do you like to I know that she is supposed to be my sister but she doesn't feel like my sister and the since she is is same age as mine even we at some time studied at the same university (I didn't know her there) in the same batch just different discipline. April 9, 20023 Luke 24:1-12 Do You Believe? I was seeking guidance therefore I came across this. arethey not a mother as well? If he can give each wife a part of the house with a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, this will be sufficient. You must do everything your power to protect your marriage, even if there is huge pressure for you to remain in your husbands familys home. Despite all these conditions, it is still better for him not to enter upon you in your room; this is purer for the heart and farthest removed from suspicion. If there are other places but she chooses to stay with you, that that is a good sign for you and your husband, so continue to show perseverance and compassion. Assalamu alaykum. I pray that Allah grants you and your husband strength to overcome this tribulation together. Is taking a commission from suppliers allowed as long as the company doesnt suffer a loss? Make time to know your in-laws but stay out of their disputes. Are they considered as my real sisters? Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. My husband and I does everything with my in-laws even go on every holiday together, go out every weekend with them. Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, discussing some of the husbands rights over his wife: Allaah has given the husband rights and commanded the wife to obey him; He has forbidden her to disobey him because of the fact that he excels her and maintains her. How To Deal With A Sister-In-Law Living In Your House!!! Do I have to obey them and shake hands with my husbands relatives? What is the commandment of Islam about the widow of shaheed? @Medi1Saif This is incorrect you should edit it, Yeah he cant marry him as he is in relationship with wife but your other addition is not right. She said she was very modern thnking and doesnt mind us going out. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I know I havnt said anything to help your situation but just saying that we share similiar lifes. Under Quran and Sharia law, the following are the prescribed shares which pass after the death of a male. It would be good if you spoke to a therapist, counselors or someone professional to help you in your situation. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. However, your husband has to look after his mother and father if they are needy. It does not store any personal data. The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Once you have got to know his thoughts, you will have to do the next step, if he has ideas of moving with you alone, good, half of the way done; if not, get ready to prepare the way, try to see why he doesnt want to move, once you know this, you have to act in consequence, trying to see how you can convince him or maybe his reasons are too strong. It is certainly because of this power that men take advantage of, and misuse it on the females. Registering ones marriage necessary as per Shariah. I am not trying to find excuses for bad manners but rather giving you reasons to remain patient. Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to the Prophets words The in-law is death, what this means is that there is more fear with regard to him than anyone else, and evil is to be expected of him, and the fitnah (temptation) is greater because he is able to reach the woman and be alone with her without anyone denouncing that, unlike the case of one who is a stranger. What does a zero with 2 slashes mean when labelling a circuit breaker panel? We have had a volatile relationship for many years, in part because he is a recovering addict. You can do something you both enjoy, like cooking, shopping or going to the gym, or simply having a nice dinner together. It would be extremely difficult for you if your husband was taking his sisters side. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? Can You Marry Your Sister In Law In Islam (Quran 4:23), Narrated Um Habiba: I said, "O Allah's Messenger ()! As long as he gives his mother attention 24-7 and he giver her relatives attention and does things for them then she is happy. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account You asked if you should have a fake relationship with your wife and committing sin or end your life. With regard to your shaking hands with men who are not your mahrams, this is haraam. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? [CDATA[ As once the condition of marriage to her sister (niece in case of an aunt of the wife) would expire the man could marry her! Every month some of the income is deducted to deposit that amount in the fund, one can not touch that fund until the age of 59.5, so, the question is when some one receives that amount would he/she have to pay zakat on the received amount immediately or after a complete year of time. Explain to his mom how happy you are staying with them but you would like a place of your own. we can never go out we are treated like kids. Should the alternative hypothesis always be the research hypothesis? All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. He would be wrong not to maintain his wife and could be prosecuted by law. Living with extended family members can be challenging, but especially so if you are a woman and your living arrangement involves a non-mahram member of the family. When ever I approach my husband I speak softly and I never use disrespectfuly words. Read surah an nisa tafseer, she is not your sister, read surah an noor tafseer to understand she is not your sister. First she couldnt understand why my husband gave me so much attention. However, if her sister passes away or he divorces her and she completes her iddah, it will be permissible for the other sister to marry her brother-in-law. You are just fine . It basically points to the fitna of brother in law and sister in law relationships if proper limitations are not followed. She got her daughters and his nani to tell him what to do so she doenst look like the erson who is controlling. If any of them enters your room with your permission but he is not one of your mahrams such as your husbands brother then there has to be one of your mahrams present, so that there will be no haraam khulwah between you (i.e., being alone together). Having your brother-in-law around is impacting your comfort level and affecting your relationship with your husband. You should never have been involved with her. Whether she is a widow or you get permission from your wife you are still not allowed to marry her in this situation. I live with his family I work, clean the house, do all the cooking etc. My husband and I does everything with my in-laws even go on every holiday together, go out every weekend with them. Suicide is not a solution to anything. My Husband and I Barely Have Marital Intimacy. I Love My Sister-in-Law & Want to Marry Her. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Do not forbid your spouse from seeing family unless you fear for their religion and safety. I pray Allah swt keeps you guided and blesses your family with utmost imaan and happiness, ameen. The key to establishing any stable society is . The patriarchal society makes a female's survival impossible without a male, where the latter has complete authority over the former. You are depressed and feeling helpless thats why you are having suicidal thoughts. When you talk to him do it calm, soft tone of voice and tell him how much you appreciate his family and how grateful you are to them, but that you have the need of being alone with him, to build up a life as a family with its own roots. but generally not obviously I.e she wears dupatta you talk , she doesn't you don't that will be very wrong and blunt . @Medi1Saif (But as she is mahram she could stay with you!) Finally, we urge you to be patient and to strive to please your husband and to help him to honour and be kind to his family as much as possible until Allaah grants you a way out. And she isn't allowed to be unveiled in front of him. A married couple needs their own space, their own time together in order to grow in love and understanding. He is the eldest child. Questions cannot be asked through this form. Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and our products. I said, "Marry her." I am raising money for my asylee friends family. I have spoken to my husband that we need our alone time together and we need to make our own decisions about stuff like going on holidays together. Why do you have to go to kitchen when she is cooking? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. Is giving a discount based on sales target permissible in a business? Share of brother in deceased brother's property. Can I marry my sister-in-law after my wife's death? I thought maybe this can work. She was really cruel with them on occasions, while she shows her nicer side to other nephews. And suicide is not an option at all, as I mentioned above. Even though her first marriage is not registered there must have been a customary marriage between your sister in law and her husband which holds good in the eyes of Law. "What shall I do (with her)?" It's also unwise to actively seek them out and interact unnecessarily. It will take some time to build that trust with her, but I am sure that she will trust you again if you really show her that you are still committed to her. I am desperate to move out, But I like my husband to be happy with me also. i cant stop laughing. Islam is much more than a religion; it is a way of life. You are struggling with the need for privacy in your own home. Use your discretion. They also have in-person classes in Canada. Is it okay for a male to playfully slap the bottom of his teenage sister? Dated: 20 December 2007. (c)Al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a husband wants to make her live with a co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother or sister or daughter from another marriage or anotherrelative, and she refuses to accept that, then he has to provide her with accommodation of her own Islam Q&A, Attending wedding parties in which there are objectionable things (munkaraat), You can ask your question on the website via this link: https://islamqa.info/en/ask, Password should contain small, capital letter and at least 8 characters long, Log in Sometimes the heart and emotions take control of you, but you have to learn to have control over your emotions. Allah Says in the context of the women who are forbidden for marriage (what means): {and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Log in, //
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