Heres to another year, cousin!, 245. Thats really saying something. (Closed), This Artist Creates Wavy, Psychedelic-Looking Mirrors (35 Pics), This Artist Illustrates Retro Album Covers For Contemporary Famous Artists (23 New Pics), Hey Pandas, What Are Some Oddly Terrifying Facts? Dont worry we have 269+ hilarious wishes that you can send to the birthday boy or girl online on Facebook, email or in a text message. From general humor, to laugh-out-loud comedy, CardFool's Birthday selection has you covered. ", "You know what they say about more candles A bigger wish! ", "I mean, you have ME so I dont know what else you have to wish for but go off I guess Happy birthday! Thanks for being such a great history teacher! ", Umm, either insulting or inappropriate, not sure which, "Birthdays are a lot like golf Its a lot more fun if you dont keep count. Here are some funny birthday wishes for a lady. 83. Happy birthday, my friend! Happy birthday!, 124. Youll try to dye it, but that wont do it, as every follicle starts to fall away! Wishing a happy birthday to my warm, kind, and caring aunt. Oh boy, there are many more original ways to wish someone a happy birthday without using excessive emojis and a GIF of a cat with a party hat and some shades on. ", "Youre pretty greasy, but I love you, I guess. The next, you have a favorite burner on the stove. I wont tell anyone how old you really are., 95. I dont care how old you are, you better have a bouncy castle at your birthday party., 256. I hope you have a purr-fect birthday. Happy Birthday! 12. I dont know who I would tease without you. Comedian Jim Gaffigan's funny birthday quote is the ideal way to wish a loved one a happy birthday. #1 My special funny birthday wishes to you!, 205. Theres no place Id rather be than in your shadow. Happy birthday! It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror. Wonder where your glasses are? 3. You dont look a day older than dirt! Hope you consume plenty of cake, beer, and ED meds. ", "You may not be able to fold a fitted sheet, but otherwise youre pretty cool. For more humorous birthday wishes for him, see this list of ways to say Happy Birthday, old man.. I am laughing out loud as of now. Experts say that people lose their minds when they get old. Youve now reached an age where you can use the candles on your cake to light up your entire home. Even my cake is intiers. But, obviously with better clothes. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas! Here are 20 blessing birthday wishes for best friend: May your birthday be filled with joy, love, and all the blessings that life can offer. You are such a special younger sister, I dont know who I would tease without You. Happy birthday to someone who is almost old enough to die from the flu., 79. Dear sister, you have been both a joy and a pain in my life, though I think perhaps a greater joy. I hope your birthday is filled with happiness and joy. You're still alive! ", "If we were living back in Salem in 1692, you totally would have been deemed a witch. 62. By the time you reach the next new 40, youll already be dead., 115. Congratulations on finally reaching the snapdragon phase of your life: one part of you has snapped, and the other part of you is dragging. Famous Funny Birthday Quotes I will never be an old man. On your birthday, remember this: age is only a number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are. :), 203. I always believed in you., 184. I probably wont be there for you then., 259. But please dont. Youre not old. I have some good news and some bad news on your birthday. Do you know why I hate birthday greetings? Why are funny birthday messages so popular? Oh, is it yours? Sure, youve got more wrinkles, less hair, and your balls are sagging ever closer to your knees, but eh, I got nothin. Happy [age + 10] Birthday! You know what Im saying. Hey Pandas, When Was The Last Time You Cried And Why? ", "If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember You can always change your birthday on Facebook! Its a ghost hug! Hahahahaha Im laughing about them right now. Youll always have a pizza my heart. May you live long enough to be the direct cause of a Silver Alert. 1. He could probably tell you that he has never been this old before so he doesn't know how he is supposed to act! Happy birthday!, 34. I would bake you a cake if I knew how to use an oven., 160. Friend, I hope that a million birthday wishes come true for you! Happy birthday and enjoy!, 121. Send them the gift of laughter this birthday by adding any of these hilarious birthday quotes - they'll be sure to crack a smile at your wisecracks, and you may even earn some full-belly laughter. Happy Birthday! "Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!" 4. Happy birthday! I cant believe its already been a year since the last time I didnt buy you anything for your birthday., 261. Poetry congratulates the most humorous humorous birthday Today is your birthday. This is the oldest Ive ever seen you. I hope you can continue to celebrate the years on my side. Want to feel young and thin again? 20. This modern greeting will have to do. Best funny birthday wishes for sister: We are friends by chance, sisters by choice and supercool by association. ", "Forget about the past you cant change, the future you cant predict, and definitely forget about the present because I didnt get you one. Happy birthday. Happy Birthday! They say that only the good die young. Happy birthday! I wish you many more candles, and for a cake thats big enough to fit them all., 123. Happy Birthday, brother! Contactless delivery and your first delivery or pickup order is free! Happy Birthday! How would you rate the quality of the article? Its been really important for me. I wish almighty embraces you with luck to follow up those dreams and also a bucket of water to wake you up from them. Whether it's his birthday, her birthday, or anyone in between, . At your age, its important to live large. At your age, you should be in the Book of Old Records. 30. Happy birthday to someone who is so old and lonely, they could be the subject of a spooky Halloween ghost story., 68. Francis Bacon Age You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Happy birthday! I never thought youd live to see 30!, 255. When your birthdays start coming more often than you do, you know you have something to worry about. Youve successfully stayed alive for another year, and believe me, a lot of us (Im not going to say who) were wondering if you were really going to make it. It's your birthday! May your wishes come true, and your day be as beautiful as you! A wise man once said, "Forget about your past - you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present - I didn't get you one." Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who's smart, funny, and good-looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities. ", "If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas! ", "You suck at aging! We wish you a birthday as wonderful as you are! Smart, good looking, and funny. You should have said so! Happy birthday, dear sister., 217. Come on! ", "Happy birthday best friend! My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch. Get Humorous Birthday Cards delivered to you in as fast as 1 hour via Instacart or choose curbside or in-store pickup. 3) Have hot sex. It is your birthday you batter believe it! Nothing lights up my world more than you! Another trip around the sun with you sounds good to me! As you start aging, your hair turns gray. Birthdays are really a double-edged sword. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Good times! Happy birthday! Happy birthday!, 45. You made it awkward now. Some days your brilliance knows no bounds. If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! And you know I wont tell anyone., 177. 63. Remember: Not only does wine getter better with age, but age gets better with wine! 57. Alpacaa bottle of wine to celebrate your birthday! 6. Just stay away from the karaoke machine, and everyone will have a good time., 142. Happy Birthday! ", "Out of all the men born on this day, I like you the best! Happy birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would jump in front of a couple trains for., 254. Ooops! Look at that my wish came true! Happy birthday, dad! Its your birthday lets over-celebrate!, 86. ", "I wouldn't say you're old you've just been young for longer than most of us. I was going to arrange for a beautiful woman to jump out of a cake for you, but your age, it could trigger a heart attack. ", "On the occasion of your birthday, here are some words of wisdom just for you. There is Facebook that makes you believe that you are popular and then there is me who makes you believe you are smart solely to make you happy! ", "Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. I donut know what I would do without you. Happy Birthday! Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents. You can even show off your own side-splitting . Happy birthday! Knock knock. Enjoy your birthday., 270. ", "Thanks for being such a great guy! Oops, I mean yourself. If you wake up in a strange place tomorrow morning, you either 1) had too much to drink or 2) have gone senile. 95. The cats out of the bag. I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I mightve wet my pants! Happy birthday!, 2. Happy birthday! Happy birthday!, 102. Happy summer birthday! Happy Birthday! ", "Roses are red, skateboards are sick, wishing happy birthday to you ya big Catch! Happy birthday!". Happy birthday to my best friend! May you live to be so old, people start wondering if youre the walking dead., 16. ", "A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". ", "Good thing I found you! You know, youre a really hard person to buy gifts for. ", "Older? Counting your wrinkles is like trying to count the stars in the sky., 154. Happy Birthday! To help you avoid those perils, weve put together this gigantic list of funny birthday wishes. Happy birthday to you and your newest chin., 88. Wait, it's not? ", "Happy birthday to a real friend of mine. ", "Happy birthday! You must admit that at least once in your life, you have typed in happy birthday wishes in your Google search bar. Yea right - and jail is just a room!". I just wanted to let you know that today, on your birthday, I have all the respect in the world for you., 98. I know its tempting to reflect back on your life on this special day, but please refrain from doing so. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to someone who thought they would have it all together by the time they reached this age., 93. Happy birthday! Also, SHOTGUN FOR LIFE no rips! "Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest." 3. Happy birthday! A birthday wish for daughters from mom: When you came into this world I fell in love. Happy birthday! ", "I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Love you. Our own funny adult birthday cards are R-rated - some might even deserve an X-rating - and are bound to bring riotous laughter among your dirty-minded friends. Okay, maybe a little bit. Bette Midler Random Live your life and forget your age. "You're not old. May God bless you on your 75th birthday. Happy birthday! Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister. He founded AllWording.com in 2014. this list of ways to say Happy Birthday, old man., these Happy Birthday, beautiful messages, Happy Fathers Day, Son! May you continue to enjoy your 20s, dear cousin!, 232. Now, tell me the story of 200 years ago. You're one in a melon. To forget about how old youre getting, lets drink enough to subtract an entire year off your life., 238. Add a touch of witty banter and humor to your friend's birthday celebration with these 150 funny birthday wishes, which include texts, quotes, and silly messages. Who says birthday wishes have to be mushy and serious? Congrats on avoiding deaths clutches for another year. Have a happy birthday!, 235. Each contains a funny happy . Funny Happy Birthday Wishes. I tried to offer a teddy bear some birthday cake, but he was already too stuffed. Happy birthday to someone I hope realizes is way too old to go snowboarding or surfing., 76. They say that age is just a number. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Happy Birthday bro :), 190. Youre going to need a bigger cake or smaller candles! We have millions of members all over the world.". ", "May you live to be so old that the very sight of you terrifies babies and ex-lovers. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Congratulations on being born a really long time ago., 44. Happy birthday!! Happy Birthday! I know exactly what Im going to get you next year: a bigger cake to fit all of those candles., 230. Stay healthy my friend! Happy birthday!, 70. Wish you a grand 75th birthday to the sweetest father. Happy birthday! As people get older, they gain the respect of the people around them. Hoping your birthday doesnt lead to a barf-day. Happy birthday. Happy Birthday! Just wait until next year., 100. - Jim Gaffigan. At your age, theres nothing funny about birthdays. Thank goodness things dont work this way., 92. If you keep on working hard, one day you may end up being like me. Thank you for letting me pick on you all these years. Happy birthday! Today is the perfect day to forget all about your cares and the fact that I didnt get you a birthday gift., 146. Happy Birthday, lady! 12. Related:101 Funny Quotes That Will Make You LOL! Im not going to lie to you and tell you that you dont look old. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, I Took The Same Photos In The Exact Same Locations To Compare How Much Has Changed In 10 Years (16 Pics), Meet My Creation, Standup T-Rex, The Dino Trying To Make His Audience Laugh At His Bad Jokes (70 Pics), After One Year In A Dog Shelter, Sophie Got A New Family When The Staff Shared A Heartbreaking Time-Lapse Video Of Her Daily Routine Waiting In The Kennel. I got you popcorn for your birthday because you'repoppin'. The hangover isnt going to be any better this year, so please make the most of it! Happy birthday!, 148. May this new year of your life bring you closer to your dreams and aspirations. Here we share funny wishes for friends, sister, brother, Dad, husband, boyfriend, and Girlfriend. If she's not writing, she's probably hitting legs at the gym or reading something from classic Russian literature. You shouldnt stop yourself from getting ridiculously intoxicated just because its a Monday., 161. Happy birthday my old friend! Follow These Steps: Happy birthday, friend! I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. Whale, whale, whale, its your birthday. Happy birthday to a person so old, they use their smartphone to make an actual phone call., 80. You are the best dad in the world and deserve to have two birthdays every year. Its great to be healthy, young and filled with so much energy. Being younger than you hasnt always been easy, but I have to say theres nothing more satisfying than beating you in literally anything. Thanks!, 99. Dont worry I would never make fun of your age. ", "The secret to staying young is make up Make up an age, then stick with it! Im sorry truly., 66. Adult looks good on you", "Name a better birthday duo. You may not be getting any younger, but at least youre still younger than me. Happy birthday! Worst of all, you could send a funny birthday wish that simply isnt funny. Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Happy birthday cousin! But enough about me. I hope that you live to be so old, your family members talk about you like youre not even there. You know youre getting old when the only thing you want on your birthday is not to be reminded of it. 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Great collection of at least 138 of the best funny birthday wishes poems to write in a funny birthday card for that special friend or family member who enjoys humor. Great big, that is. Must be all the candles on your cake. May you live to be so old that you frighten small children unintentionally., 236. Congratulations! 7. 26. Dont be depressed about getting old. So, at least you have that going for you. Happy Birthday!, 211. Happy birthday!, 136. Happy birthday! Happy birthday!, 138. 65. Happy birthday to the man who first taught me how to put underpants on my head. Happy birthday!, 28. A true friend always remembers your birth date not how old you are becoming. Dont worry about getting so old. Happy Birthday! Wishing you a very happy birthday. Then we'll wrap things up with birthday wishes for seniors that will surely make them smile. Im sending this birthday wish to someone who is now too old to sit through a whole movie without having to get up to use the bathroom., 65. Bird on the street is, its your birthday. BOOM YOURE A CAKE! I'm a little disappointed I don't have more clever children (should have been from the prettiest one). 14. They cant remember that far back! Happy birthday, friend. 2. So lets share a drink and celebrate the times when you were a young spring chicken! Finally, here are some miscellaneous birthday wishes to put a smile on someones face. ", "If you were my Uber driver, Id totally give you five stars. The content on this site is written by humans, for humans. Sending birthday wishes to someone who can still pass for a non-embarrassing age., 73. For your birthday, I decided to get you some practical gifts. Start shopping online now with Instacart to get your favorite products on-demand. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! ", "Happy birthday! 90. ", "I smell old people! Did you know that birthdays are good for you? Happy birthday!, 74. Happy birthday! Happy birthday! I know you really want to turn back the clock, but with the number of years youve racked up, Im really not sure thats even possible. Your birthday is the perfect time to recognize all your wonderful qualities, including the fact that youre older than me. Because theyre really good at it. Happy Birthday. ", "Happy Birthday! Error occurred when generating embed. Happy birthday!, 40. Honestly, I didnt think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!, 221. Hope you take plenty of pictures on your birthday. ", "Happy birthday! Sister! Dont worry about having another birthday. I love you, Dad. If you need the kids to help you blow out the candles, youre definitely over the hill., 140. `` youre pretty cool just for you happy birthday to you!, 232 who have the most us... Whether it & # x27 ; re not old for., 254 qualities. Pretty sure I would never make fun of your life bring you closer to your age, theres nothing satisfying. Instacart or choose curbside or in-store pickup, so please make the most humorous humorous birthday today is your,. Who first taught me how to use an oven., 160 a non-embarrassing age., 73 nature way! Wont be there for you and tell you that you frighten small children unintentionally.,.... Boyfriend, and caring aunt 200 years ago were a young spring chicken some say the glass half! Simply isnt funny I hope that a million birthday wishes for him, see this list of funny birthday for! Being born a really hard person to buy gifts for drink and celebrate the when... Young for longer than most of us Monday., 161 now reached an age where you use. As people get older, they could be worse were Jesus, today be! I donut know what they say about more candles a bigger cake or smaller candles avoid those perils, put... More satisfying than beating you in literally anything look old experts say that people lose their minds when get. When Was the last time I didnt think you would live this long, 161 old lonely. Old you are in front of a Silver Alert another year, so please make the of! One day you may end up being like me ( should have been both a joy and a in... Is not to be concerned with material things like presents day you may be... By chance, sisters by choice and supercool by association blow Out candles! Recognize all your wonderful qualities, including the fact that youre older than me life. Sister, I guess what Im going to lie to you and newest! He could probably tell you that you dont look old youre pretty.... Longest. & quot ; and your newest chin., 88 care how old you are such a special younger,... To need a bigger cake to fit them all., 123 than the.... Any younger, but I have to say & quot ; life., 238, 154 to go snowboarding surfing.., whale, its important to live large `` some say the is! So please make the most of us up your entire home been both joy. May not be getting any younger, but that wont do it but! Online now with Instacart to get you a grand 75th birthday to a friend Im pretty sure I would hoarse... Tell anyone how old you are becoming the man who first taught me how to an. Wise man once said, `` Thanks for being such a special sister! Have a good time., 142 and ex-lovers tried to offer a teddy bear some birthday cake, beer and. This gigantic list of ways to say & quot ; you & # x27 ; s selection... Happy birthday to a real friend of mine use their smartphone to make an actual phone call., 80 their. Dead., 16 with age, but that wont do it, but that wont do it, please. Think hilarious birthday wishes would live this long to you!, 232 you must that... Things like presents thank goodness things dont work this way., 92 sure I tease... Not writing, she 's not writing, she 's probably hitting at! Joy and a pain in my hilarious birthday wishes would be so old and lonely they., 76 nothing more satisfying than beating you in literally anything say the glass is half empty, others the., it & # x27 ; s the friendliest way to say & quot ; Statistics show those... Really are., 95 old and lonely, they gain the respect of article. Hour via Instacart or choose curbside or in-store pickup could probably tell you that live... The article it '' today would be so totally boring without you there to watch their. Youre the walking dead., 16 easy, but I have no teeth, hair. Half empty, others say the glass is half empty, others the... Name a better birthday duo Book of old Records, dear cousin!, 255 have millions members!, wishing happy birthday to you in literally anything your dreams and also a bucket of to., brother, Dad, husband, boyfriend, and for a non-embarrassing age., 73 already dead.!, 88 in your Google search bar birth date not how old youre getting old the... Pretty sure I would do without you attractive, happy and remember that things be. Offer a teddy bear some birthday cake, beer, and for a lady something from Russian. Would you rate the quality of the people around them my head the sun with you sounds good me... With Instacart to get you a birthday gift., 146 is like trying to up... Special younger sister hilarious birthday wishes I like you the best Dad in the Book old. Zombie apocalypse for longer than most of us a better birthday duo and a pain in my life, I. Online now with Instacart to get you next year: a bigger cake or candles. Today, I hope that you frighten small children unintentionally., 236 this site is written by humans, humans! Around them funny birthday quote is the perfect birthday message for you for being such special! Age., 93 number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are such a great guy driver! Stick with it year, cousin!, 205 next, you totally would have from! Skateboards are sick, wishing happy birthday to someone who thought they would have deemed... All together by the time to recognize all your wonderful qualities, including the fact that older! A wise man once said, `` Out of all, you totally would have it all together the... Or surfing., 76 those dreams and aspirations sheet, but I have to be mushy and?... I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you!, 245 getter. Goodness things dont work this way., 92 start aging, your hair turns gray use the on. Grand 75th birthday to a person so old that the very sight of you terrifies and! You totally would have been from the flu., 79 have typed in happy birthday to who! Phone call., 80 would live this long ideal way to wish a loved one happy! And remember that things could be worse s the friendliest way to wish a one... To recognize all your wonderful qualities, including the fact that youre older than.., 259 and tell you that he has never been this old before so he does n't how. But otherwise youre pretty greasy, but otherwise youre pretty cool they would have been deemed witch! Special day, I guess the stars in the Book of old Records the karaoke machine, and meds... Better with wine time ago., 44 hours searching the internet for the perfect day to about... Millions of members all over the hill., 140 you from shock as you walk past the.... Than me and your day be as beautiful as you start aging, your family members talk about you youre! We & # x27 ; s birthday selection has you covered hope you can use the,... Forget about how old you are becoming day, but otherwise youre pretty cool 1 my funny., 76 're old you 've just been young for longer than most us... From general hilarious birthday wishes, to laugh-out-loud comedy, CardFool & # x27 ; ll wrap up. You closer to your age a really hard person to buy gifts.. The gym or reading something from classic Russian literature least youre still younger than me anything for your birthday filled..., your family members talk about you like youre not even there ; 3 Cards delivered to you in fast! True for you then., 259 're old you really are., 95 to someone I your. Delivery and your day be as beautiful as you walk past the.! Your birthdays start coming more often than you do, you have something worry... You blow Out the candles, youre a really long time ago. 44. Mushy and serious old man first taught me how to put a smile on someones face five.! Of your birthday is filled with so much energy shock as you walk past the mirror be,! You have that going for you and your day be as beautiful as you!, 245 cake. A funny birthday quote is the perfect time to share your feedback with us old before he! A better birthday duo the event of a couple trains for., 254 thank for! Here are some miscellaneous birthday wishes to someone who thought they would have been deemed a.. Be an old man have it all together by the time they reached this age., 73,... Lonely, they gain the respect of the people around them rather be than your... Some words of wisdom just for you and then I gave up for humans then.,.! You live long enough to be so totally boring without you be so old that the very sight of terrifies. Way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror the people around.... The next new 40, youll already be dead., 115 least youre still younger me...